Not all men treat their relationship in the same way and thus not all relationship advice for men can be considered one that fits all. Some men need help communicating while others need help understanding what women expect and want. Some men need a handbook of information printed in a never ending series. Let's face it. Some guys are just better equipped for handling their relationship than others. That means any relationship advice that is going to work is really more about teaching men to listen well, ask questions, and to express their needs in a way that women can understand.
Communication is not an easy task. But how can we go about helping men define their relationship under better terms if we are only willing to stick to easy? When we act like there is something that is totally upsetting us but we tell our significant other that we are fine, we aren't communicating anything but confusion. Answering a question like "What's wrong," with "You know what's wrong," is also setting up poor communication skills. Maybe it is just as important to look at why men often feel that communicating is so difficult in order to understand a bit better. Ultimately, admitting that someone has hurt our feelings or has made us feel weak, vulnerable, or fragile puts us in the position of needed to protect ourselves. We don't want to be judged. Good relationship advice for men would include working on skills that address this problem, because it goes very deep into the heart of relationship issues. Being judged is not fun and nobody likes it. But we can still lay out the truth for our partner and expect it to be an acceptable part of communication. If a relationship can not grow past judging, poking fun at, humiliating, and creating tension on purpose to feel powerful, then it is perhaps time to consider whether or not the relationship is appropriate.
Listening to a partner can be just as difficult. We tend to only half listen to the people in our lives. We are too busy rehearsing what we want to respond to, judging them for the way they are feeling or representing their feelings, and even carefully picking through the words in the "Never ever say that again" pile. Either way, turning the volume way down on all those little voices in your head and just listen to what you partner is saying. Don't worry about what to say when she is done or the game that is playing in the background. Often, if you simply concentrate on what your partner is talking about and saying you can be much more well informed and understanding than ever before.
Relationship advice for me that works is out there for the man who wants to be a better partner and a better lover to his spouse.
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